Do you think you’re
qualified for a particular job, fit to lead a team, or entitled to a promotion
because you have extensive experience and highly developed technical skills?
Well, it turns out that while those thingsare crucial to your
professional success, it’s imperative that you alsohave great soft
skills–more commonly known as “people skills.”
“People skills are, in
short, the various attributes and competencies that allow one to play well with
others,” explains says David Parnell, a legal consultant, communication coach and
author. “While on the surface these may be summed up by notions such as
‘likeability,’ or having a ‘good personality,’ when you start to look at what
makes one ‘likable,’ for instance, you’ve opened Pandora ‘s Box.” But more
often than not, these attributes come in the form of effective, accurate and
persuasive communication, he says.
Teri Hockett, chief
executive of What’s For Work?, a career site for women, agrees. She
says: “People skills come down to how people interact with each other, from a
verbal and/or non-verbal perspective; they are non-technical in nature. When we
think of people skills, words such as personality, empathy, and tonality come
to mind.”
Having good people
skills means maximizing effective and productive human interaction to
everyone’s benefit, says Lynn Taylor, a national workplace expert and
author of Tame
Your Terrible Office Tyrant; How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in
Your Job. “People want to connect on a humane level in the office;
the alternative is a sterile environment with low productivity. So, the more
you demonstrate these abilities, the faster your career will advance. It’s the
‘office diplomats’ with strong emotional intelligence who are most likely to be
strong, effective corporate leaders. They realize that trusting relationships
built on diplomacy and respect are at the heart of both individual success and
corporate productivity. An ounce of people sensitivity is worth a pound of cure
when it comes to daily human interaction and mitigating conflict. By developing
these skills, you’ll reduce bad behavior in the office, and your positive
approach will be contagious.”
Wise managers know
that they need a team with strong people skills, she adds. “Given the choice
between a savvy job candidate or, similarly, an employee seeking promotion –
the one with excellent people skills and less technical ability will usually
win the prize versus the converse.” Having good people radar is harder to teach
than technical skills, but is a requisite for long term, effective leadership,
she says.
Here are 20 “people
skills” and attributes you’ll need to succeed at work:
1. The ability to
relate to others. “Having
the ability to relate to others and their position or viewpoint is crucial in
business,” Hockett says. “By having a well-rounded personality and set of
experiences, it’s usually possible to relate to almost anyone.” Sometimes being
able to relate to others simply means that you’re willing to agree to disagree
with mutual respect; letting them know youunderstand their
position.
2. Strong
communication skills. This
is the most fundamental people skill because it encompasses your persona and
ability to get along with other colleagues, persuade others to listen to your
ideas, and much more, Taylor says. “If you have a gift for the spoken and
written word, you will always put your best foot forward. Being articulate is
highly prized in today’s workplace, when time is at a premium and technology
requires constant communication.”
Parnell says
articulation is a very important “people skill.” “Illusory transparency refers
to the notion that as we speak to others, we believe that they are of the same
mindset as us, and are processing things exactly as we would. Even if this were
possible – which it’s not – it would be incredibly challenging because of
semantic ambiguity,” he explains. “Universal quantifiers for instance – all,
any, every, etc. – are systematic violations of accurate communication in that
they are rarely true in a literal sense, and leave significant room for
translation. Effective communicators are very careful to understand these
systematic violations, and avoid them or accommodate them when necessary.”
3. Patience with
others. “If you’re
patient with others and can keep a level head in stressful situations, it will
definitely be noticed by management and perceived as a very strong asset,” says
Amy Hoover, president of Talent Zoo. “When your boss is forced to deal with a
situation where people have lost their cool he or she will certainly remember
the troublemakers when the next promotion comes available.”
4. The ability to
trust others. You can
only accelerate your career if you’re trustworthy. “Without it, you can’t get
projects done or get cooperation,” Taylor says. “No one can operate in a vacuum
for long.”
5. Knowing how and
when to show empathy. “Having
the ability to place yourself in someone else’s shoes is a key people skill,”
says Ryan Kahn, a career coach, founder of The Hired Group, star of
MTV’s Hired! and author of Hired! The Guide for the Recent Grad. It allows us
to create relationships with others, provides insights into people’s motives
and allows us to predict responses.
“Offer support,
sympathy and feedback in your daily business life,” Taylor suggests. “It will
bring you positive emotional returns – part of ‘corporate karma.’” If you
contribute to a dehumanized company, both you and your employer will have
limited growth potential, she says.
Hockett reminds us
that things are not always black and white, and in order to have effective
relationships with others we need to show compassion where appropriate. “In a
perfect world there would be no hiccups, but life happens and knowing when to
show compassion when others face challenges is important.”
6. Active listening
skills. Hearing someone
and actively listening to them are two different things, Hockett explains. Most
people hear someone speak and start to form a response in their mind (or worse,
starting talking) before the person finishes what they’re saying. “The key is
to actively listen, which takes more time but produces better results. It means
you listen without interruption and then take the time to think and form a response
before replying. It takes practice, but it pays off.”
Taylor says the axiom
“we were given two ears and one mouth” speaks volumes. “Be a good listener and
remain sensitive to the needs of your workers and boss. This people skill can
be practiced; and once honed, you’ll see the difference in the positive
reaction of those around you.”
7. Genuine interest in
others. People know when
you’re truly interested in them, Kahn says. “If you’re not showing a genuine
interest – asking thoughtful questions and considering about their answers –
your interaction can actually have an opposite effect to the one intended. Take
care to remember names, dates and important life events.”
8. Flexibility. Being “likable” or having a “good
personality” are highly contingent and context dependant attributes, Parnell
explains. “Your prison-bound uncle’s personality may not be likeable at the
Thanksgiving table, but it may serve him well once incarcerated. Supreme
communicators have a keen ability to shift gears when the context calls for it,
and a deep well of communication options to choose from. This way, they can
respond accordingly to what the current situation requires.”
Taylor agrees. She
adds: “If you can bend your own rules and beliefs, you are by definition a
‘good people person.’”
9. Good judgment. Good judgment is a key people skill that
comes directly from learning, listening to others and observing the world
around you, Kahn says. “It allows you to wisely select friends and associates,
determine reactions and responses, and make sound decisions.”
Parnell adds: “Pay
attention to your gut – it often has something valuable to say.”
10. The ability to
persuade others. There’s
a good chance that at some point in your career you’ll have to sell others on
your ideas, products or services. Whether you’re up for a promotion, pitching a
project, or selling clothing in a retail store, you need to be able to form a
strong, convincing argument for why you, or your products, are the very best,
or the “right” one.
11. Negotiation skills. Good negotiating skills are beneficial
with both internal and external discussions, Hoover says. “Internally, job
offers and salary discussions greatly benefit from solid negotiating, as well
as when it’s time to pitch a new idea or sway coworkers to your way of
thinking. Externally, both vendors and customers often require
negotiations and you can really become the hero when you are successful in
either scenario.”
12. The ability to keep
an open mind. “To create
trust and respect in others, people need to know that their point of view and
feedback will be considered and used,” Kahn says. Being known as someone who
keeps an open mind also makes you more approachable and easier to work with.
13. A great sense of
humor. “Who doesn’t enjoy
laughing? It’s ‘the great diffuser’ of tension and conflict. If you
can jam the system of tension or routine with levity, you will thrive in your
job,” Taylor says. “It was once said that ‘nobody ever died of laughter,’ and
if you can retain some lightheartedness in your job, you’re likely to get more
air time during meetings and overall.”
14. Knowing your
audience. Knowing what,
how, and when to say things to others is critical. For example, if someone just
loss their job, it’s probably not a good idea to talk about your promotion.
This seems trivial, but it’s one of the primary reasons why people encounter
communication breakdowns with each other, Hockett explains.
15. Honesty. The saying, “honesty is the best policy” is not
only true, it’s essential in building trust among your colleagues, Taylor says.
“Once you lose it, it’s almost impossible to regain.
Kahn agrees and says
people want to work with those that they know they can trust. “Honesty is
the foundation of any relationship, particularly in business.”
16. Awareness of body
language. The importance
of body language cannot be emphasized enough, since it makes up the majority of
how we communicate with others. “The reality is, we’re communicating with
people all the time even when we’re not speaking. Being mindful of what our
gestures, expressions, voice, and appearance are communicating can greatly help
or harm our people skills,” Hockett says.
17. Proactive problem
solving. Work is a series
of problem solving situations, but if you’re proactive, you’ll take the
pressure off your boss and colleagues, Taylor says. This is a great people
skill to have in the workplace.
18. Leadership skills. If you can motivate a team and help those
around you do their best work, you’ll be more successful even if you’re not in
management, Hoover says.
19. Good manners. “Using ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ goes a
long way in the realm of people skills,” Taylor explains. While seemingly
obvious, some need little reminders. Keeping a post it with a smile or another
icon can remind us that work is more than getting something accomplished, it’show we
get it accomplished.
20. The ability to be
supportive and motivate others.
“People want others to believe in them, regardless of how successful they might
be. By showing support in the form of encouragement, you can put someone back
on track or keep them headed in the right direction,” Hockett explains.
Taylor says: “Not only
should you praise and recognize your staff, all the while being accessible and
upbeat. You should also be motivational around your boss and colleagues.
Employees at all levels want to be around enthusiastic people with drive and
high energy.”
“When workers know how to conduct themselves
with people sensitivity, their career outlook is much more enhanced,” Taylor
says. “Employees who are aware of the ‘human factor’ in the workplace
understand how to get things done.” Assuming the work is satisfying, it’s how
people feel at work that will determine their loyalty and
contributions.
Hockett concludes:
“Nowadays many of us live in two worlds, the real and digital one. Make sure
that your people skills are consistent across both.”
JacquelynSmith|FORBES
JacquelynSmith|FORBES
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