Thursday, May 15, 2014

Sixteen Reasons Why Grinding and #Twerking Is The Worst Thing To Ever Happen To Humanity

What do you say when you have Usain Bolt, world's fastest man other favorite sport is grinding.  Grinding is a popular dance move in which two people shake their hips very close to each other while facing the same direction.

16 Reasons Why Grinding Is The Worst Thing To Ever Happen To Humanity

If done properly, it should look something like this (I think):

16 Reasons Why Grinding Is The Worst Thing To Ever Happen To Humanity
            

But it is, without a doubt, the most uncomfortable and awkward dance move EVER.

16 Reasons Why Grinding Is The Worst Thing To Ever Happen To Humanity
            

Here’s why:

1. This generation’s lack of dance skills have prompted men all over to resort to dry humping as a substitute for dancing.

16 Reasons Why Grinding Is The Worst Thing To Ever Happen To Humanity
            
The future of dance looks dark and pitiful.

2. Where are you supposed to place your hands? Her ribs? Her back? Her hips? Are you supposed to just hold them behind your back?

16 Reasons Why Grinding Is The Worst Thing To Ever Happen To Humanity
            


3. You cannot dance to your partner’s “twerking.” You just can’t. All you can do is stand there and watch.

16 Reasons Why Grinding Is The Worst Thing To Ever Happen To Humanity
            
Props to this guy for at least trying to do something with his hands.

4. It especially sucks for girls when random dudes just start grinding up on them WITHOUT PERMISSION.

It especially sucks for girls when random dudes just start grinding up on them WITHOUT PERMISSION.                         
They don’t even give you the common courtesy of a simple, “Hey! Would you like to grind?”

5. Also, there is absolutely NO EYE CONTACT. None. Who knows what your dance partner could be doing?

Also, there is absolutely NO EYE CONTACT. None. Who knows what your dance partner could be doing?                         

6. An uninvited third person is BOUND to get in between you and your dance partner.

An uninvited third person is BOUND to get in between you and your dance partner.                         
FYI, that third person is a boner.

7. What if there is a significant size difference between you and your partner?

16 Reasons Why Grinding Is The Worst Thing To Ever Happen To Humanity
            

8. Grinding faster doesn’t make it less awkward. It actually accentuates just how ridiculous this dance move really is.

16 Reasons Why Grinding Is The Worst Thing To Ever Happen To Humanity
            

9. Let’s accept the fact that no one looks good grinding.

16 Reasons Why Grinding Is The Worst Thing To Ever Happen To Humanity
            

10. No one.

16 Reasons Why Grinding Is The Worst Thing To Ever Happen To Humanity
            

11. Not even Hillary.

16 Reasons Why Grinding Is The Worst Thing To Ever Happen To Humanity
            

12. And no, grinding with a ghost doesn’t make it any better.

16 Reasons Why Grinding Is The Worst Thing To Ever Happen To Humanity
            
Sorry, Tyga.

13. NO! NOT THE FLOOR! STOP!!!

16 Reasons Why Grinding Is The Worst Thing To Ever Happen To Humanity
            

14. The sad thing is, people think grinding is a legit form of dance.

16 Reasons Why Grinding Is The Worst Thing To Ever Happen To Humanity
            

15. And they’re passing it down to future generations.

And they're passing it down to future generations.                         
THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

16. In conclusion, grinding totally sucks. It’s also…

16 Reasons Why Grinding Is The Worst Thing To Ever Happen To Humanity
            

AWKWARD…

16 Reasons Why Grinding Is The Worst Thing To Ever Happen To Humanity
            

AS…

16 Reasons Why Grinding Is The Worst Thing To Ever Happen To Humanity
            

FUCK.

FUCK.                         
Repost from BuzzFeed by Norberto Briceño

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