Mr. Skin’s 2014 Top Nude Scenes And Worst Puns

HBO

Here’s the list from Mr. Skin, to get you all excited, along with the worst pun for each entry to kill your erection.

1. Alexandra Daddario in True Detective. “Alexandra wasn’t on anyone’s radar a year ago, but thanks to her fully nude debut- including some lip-smacking lower frontal...” Wow, I didn’t think I could be nauseous while picturing Alexandra D’addario, thanks, Mr. Skin.
2. Scarlett Johansson in Under the Skin. “It was the nude debut everyone was waiting for, and absolutely no one thought it would end up being as spec-rack-ular as it was!”
3. Eva Green in Sin City: A Dame to Kill For; Eva Green in 300: Rise Of An Empire. “That topless turn caused more than an empire to rise!”; “Eva is certainly a dame to spill for!”

4. Stacy Martin in Nymphomaniac. “Our diagnosis is that Stacy is a Skinphomaniac!”
5. Olivia Wilde in Third Person. “Olivia attempts to seduce a married Liam Neeson by dropping her towel and showing off her glorious hoots and glutes! Hey, it’s not like her name is Olivia Mild!”
6. Lizzy Caplan in Masters of Sex. “Playing one half of the sex research team Masters and Johnson, Lizzy was tireless in showing T&A for science. It’ll have you Mastering your Johnson!”
7. Keri Russell in The Americans. “Check and see if Keri Russell’d up something in your pants!”
8. Nathalie Emmanuel in Game of Thrones. “Looks like she’s a member of House Stark… Stark Naked!”
9. Shailene Woodley in White Bird in a Blizzard. “Baring her beauties for the second time in as many years, Shailene showed off her sensational sweater pups while getting busy all over the house! Ms. Woodley always manages to give us a woody!”
10. Cameron Diaz in Sex Tape. “Once it was uploaded to the cloud, it was downloaded to guy’s hard drives all across the land!”